Thief Brazenly Steals Bizarre Artifact From Famed New Jersey Cheesesteak Restaurant

A New Jersey bar owner is blubbering mad after some ding-dong swiped the dive’s fave knickknack: a walrus penis!

The penile pincher was caught on camera, and the peepee piracy was posted on TikTok. But the alleged dipstick — who was clutching a cocktail while scramming with the walrus wienie — has yet to be caught.

“We didn’t want to file a police report or anything like that. We just want the thing back,” Rob Lucas Jr. told NJ.com, owner of Donkey’s Place in Camden, which is just across the Delaware from Philadelphia.

The odd-looking prong held a place of honor behind the bar at Donkey’s Place along with a megalodon tooth and other artifacts. Bartenders would let patrons take a gander at the phallic fossil — technically called a walrus baculum or oosik — and guess what it was.

On Dec. 30, three guys who had reportedly been boozing it up asked to see the doodad — and one of the boneheads bolted with it!

“The bartender handed it out for them to figure out what it was. She went to the back to do something else and then one dude stole it,” Lucas says. “We got his picture, but I don’t think he’s from around town.”

Besides the walrus willy, Donkey’s Place is famous for its cheesesteak, which the late Anthony Bourdain once praised as the area’s “best cheesesteak” spot.

Now Donkey’s Place just wants its famous schlong returned.

In the TikTok post, the bartender involved said: “If the person that stole it is watching this, please bring it back. Not the same without it.”