Matchmaker Shares Holiday Tips For Meeting The Family — And The Red Flags To Watch For

With the holidays approaching, many new couples face a familiar source of seasonal stress: meeting their partners family for the first time.

April Davis, professional matchmaker and founder of Luma Luxury Matchmaking, says the key to making a good impression is to stay grounded and authentic.

“The holidays are already high-pressure enough, so the key is to be genuine and relaxed,” Davis says. “You want to show up as the same person your partner already knows and loves, not some polished version you think their family wants to see.”

Davis, who has appeared on Bravo’s “Real Housewives of the OC,” founded Luma Luxury Matchmaking in 2010 after years of informally pairing friends and colleagues. With an MBA and a background in process improvement, she sought to bring structure and professionalism to the search for love. Her company now has a network of more than 1 million vetted singles and has been recognized among the INC. 5000 Fastest Growing Companies.

Her advice for the holidays begins with simplicity. Bring a small, thoughtful gift such as a bottle of wine or local treats, but skip anything too personal or expensive, which can feel premature. She also advises watching the family dynamic before jumping into inside jokes or traditions, and taking cues from the room.

“Dont force conversation,” she says. “Be curious, listen more than you talk, and find light topics like travel, pets, or favorite holiday foods.”

Davis also recommends dressing confidently, noting that color can influence how people feel and connect. She suggests wearing red, describing it as festive and flattering for both men and women.

When in doubt, keep the visit brief. “You want them to be excited to see you again, not relieved when you leave,” she says.

But even as couples navigate these early introductions, Davis says the holidays can reveal warning signs worth paying attention to.

Red flags include being pressured to meet family too soon, avoiding defining the relationship, focusing on gifts instead of connection, or showing off for appearances. Other concerns, she notes, are excessive drinking at gatherings, being judgmental at family events, or constantly complaining about holiday obligations.