Are You Dating Your Polar Opposite? 1 in 4 Americans Say They Are — And Theyre Making It Work

A quarter of Americans in relationships say theyre paired with their complete opposite — and most wouldnt have it any other way.

A new survey of 2,000 adults in relationships or marriages found that 26% describe their partner as their “polar opposite.” Conducted by Talker Research for sexual wellness brand LELO, the study explored whether opposites really attract and how couples balance their differences.

Overall, 73% of respondents said they believe opposites attract, with women slightly more likely to agree (74% compared to 69% of men). Nearly two-thirds (65%) believe the saying applies directly to their own relationship.

Respondents who reported being in an “opposites attract relationship” described a variety of traits.

“He’s a country boy and I’m a city girl,” one said; “I’m social and extroverted and he is shy and introverted,” said another. “I am very calm and like a plan and my husband is spontaneous and carefree,” reported another, the reverse of another couple who reported: “My husband is very calm, nothing upsets him and I am the total opposite: I get mad very quickly.”

The findings suggest that complementary personalities may indeed play a role in romantic chemistry. Introverts tend to be drawn to extroverts (58%), while extroverts are just as likely to prefer introverts (55%).

Astrology enthusiasts might see similar patterns in the stars: Aries, Libras, and Scorpios were the most likely to believe opposites attract (76% each), while Tauruses were the most skeptical (16%). While Geminis were most likely to seek out someone different from themselves (25%), they don’t actually date their opposites at the highest rate — that would be Tauruses (14%), Libras (11%), and Sagittariuses (10%). Capricorns (16%) and Cancers (11%), meanwhile, were most likely to date their own sign.

Still, many people admit that when they were looking for a partner, they wanted someone more similar than different. Almost half (47%) said they sought out shared traits, while only 21% were looking for an opposite. On average, respondents said couples should share about 54% of similarities for a relationship to succeed.

Core values (58%), family and future goals (54%), and relationship boundaries (48%) were considered the most important areas for similarity, while career goals (16%), fitness habits (19%), and hobbies (22%) were among the least. Only 22% said it was essential to have similar sexual desires, though nearly one in five (18%) wished they were more aligned in that area.

“The enduring question of whether opposites attract is often highlighted in romantic narratives, leading to the misconception that differing personalities are essential for a successful relationship. However, long-term experience suggests that shared similarities, coupled with open communication and honesty, particularly in intimate matters, are the true foundations of stronger, healthier relationships,” says Luka Matutinovec, the chief marketing officer of sexual wellness brand, LELO.

Even couples who began as opposites say theyve grown more similar over time. Thirty-two percent said they initially felt more different than similar, but 60% now believe they share more in common. Three-quarters said their partner has introduced them to experiences they never would have tried otherwise, and 77% said their differences actually complete them.

Those differences often show up in day-to-day life. Partners said they balance one another in areas like car maintenance (35%), home repairs (23%), saving money (18%), wrapping gifts (14%), and cooking (14%). Despite those contrasts, 84% of respondents — including 86% of those who consider themselves total opposites — said they cant imagine life without their partner.

“When talking about differences (or similarities) between partners, it’s interesting to note that 47% of respondents believe that variations in sex toy preferences could lead to a more exciting intimate life. This just serves to prove that in all aspects, even when it comes to a thing like deciding on the toy the couple will use together, birds of a feather do flock together,” Matutinovic said.

In the end, the research suggests that relationships dont rely on sameness or difference — but on how well couples embrace both.