1 In 4 Coupled Americans Say They Are In A ‘Relationship Rut’

More than a quarter of Americans in serious relationships say their love lives have gone stale, according to a new nationwide survey.

The poll of 2,000 U.S. adults in committed relationships, conducted by Talker Research on behalf of intimacy tech company Lovense, found that 26% currently feel theyre in a “relationship rut” and 34% have previously faced a relationship rut.

Those who feel they are in a rut cite fewer romantic gestures (50%), less passionate routine sex (46%), bedroom boredom (32%) and a lack of meaningful conversation (41%) as key indicators. The average rut has lasted nearly 10 months, and more than half of those affected say its been ongoing for more than a year.

The survey sheds light on the emotional and physical lulls that can affect long-term partnerships. Roughly a quarter (24%) admitted to daydreaming about other people. For many, the consequences feel serious. Sixty-three percent of those in a rut fear their relationship could end if they dont find a way to rekindle their connection.

Still, the data shows theres room for hope. Of the 34% who experienced a rut in the past, most improved their relationship through better communication (62%) and trying new things together (43%). More than a third said these efforts were effective.

Sexual satisfaction remains a complex issue. While three in five respondents consider their current partner to be their best ever in bed, only 30% said they frequently try new things. Nearly half reported having sex no more than five times a month, and 13% gave their sex life a failing grade.

The survey also explored how long-distance relationships impact intimacy. Among the 31% who had been in one, 83% said technology was essential to maintaining connection, and 20% even said their long-distance relationships were “spicier” than traditional ones.

Technology isn’t just for long-distance relationships — it can help couples break free from routines and add excitement to their intimacy,” said Lovense CEO Dan Liu. “When relationships fall into predictability, tech offers a way to reintroduce novelty and creativity, helping partners rediscover connection and pleasure. Its not about replacing human interaction, but enhancing it and keeping things fresh, whether together or apart.” 

Respondents shared a range of creative approaches to rekindling passion — from setting the mood with music and candles to simply “relaxing together and letting the world go away.” Couples have also tried bringing technology into the bedroom with toys (24%), lights (21%) and playlists (13%).

“After being together for years or even decades, its natural for couples to settle into a routine — and many find it challenging to reignite that initial spark. But keeping a long-term relationship exciting doesnt have to be complicated,” said Liu. “Sometimes, small changes — like introducing technology into the bedroom — can create fresh experiences and bring back that sense of intimacy and connection. Weve seen time and time again how a little innovation can make a big difference in helping couples rediscover intimacy and create new, memorable moments together.”